Surviving
by dit-c-gurl
Summary: Stephs back with yet another stalker, more donuts, feelings for two very hot, dangerous men and the urge to find out Rangers deep dark secret. Rating will increase later.
1. Another day, another dollar

I was beginning to think that my life was no longer like a jelly donut.

Really my life was more like dog poop. I had finally dragged Katie Mahogny's ass back to jail and now her psycho boyfriend Tommy Conner was after me. A day in the life of Stephanie Plum.

Most people my age have problems like a cheating husband, a crazy family or a sick pet. I'd had the cheating husband (my ex Dickie playing hide the salami with Joyce on my kitchen table), I still had the crazy family (Grandma Mauzer pretty much explains that one) and Bobs a compulsive eater who's constantly sick all over Morelli's apartment. So not only do I have normal problems, but I have to deal with a boss who I think is secretly Batman, psycho stalkers, cars blowing up once a week, and constantly having to squeeze myself into my jeans. God must have had a field day dreaming up my life.

I was currently walking into the office, carrying a twelve pack of boston crèmes. I figure if you share junk food the calories don't count because you're brightening someone else's day. With this thought, I was greeted by the sight of Lula, bent over and retrieving something from the floor, wearing tight, neon yellow spandex pants. Lula's an ex-ho and still dresses like she's on the street. However she rides shotgun with me on most my FTA's and demands nothing but constant junk food. Since my body demands this too, we have a pretty good agreement.

'Morning!' I sang out cheerfully as I walked in, ignoring Lula's hiney in my face. I figured since I felt like crap I might as well pretend to feel great therefore releasing false feelings of happiness. 'Uh-oh what's wrong?' Connie asked concernedly while I plastered a fake Barbie smile on my face. 'Nothing-why would anything be wrong?' I asked innocently, passing round the donuts before biting into one myself. 'You're too happy.' Connie stated. 'You have bags under your eyes and you've done the full hair and makeup thing, which you only do when you're feeling insecure. Plus Tommy Conner left you a note.' This caught my attention..

'You know me way too well.' I told Connie. Now can I see the note?' Connie handed me a piece of scrap paper with the words '_You shouldn't have messed with my girlfriend. See you soon bitch' _scrawled on it. ´Hmmm´ I said in my "Well that's a bit of a worry but nothing I can't handle because I'm secretly Wonder Women' voice. 'Where was it found?' Connie licked her lips nervously. 'Stuck to the front door.'

'Hunh.' Lula said, finally finding her lost item, which turned out to be a discount coupon for fried chicken. 'If I were you I'd bust a cap up his ass.' She stated. 'In fact why don't we go pay him a lil visit? I ain't had breakfast yet and I'm feelin' real moody.'

I sighed. Although the idea was tempting, Vinnie hated it when I shot people. 'I don't need to bust a cap up his ass I'm sure he'll find himself a life eventually and leave me alone.' I was a little worried though. That was the third abusive note I'd found so far and the other two had been on my car and my front door. But I was sick of stalkers and therefore sick of being worried about stalkers. Anyway Tommy was a weasel who looked like he'd make a nice squeaky toy if Lula sat on him.

'What have you got for me?' I asked Connie, who handed me a pile of FTA's. Although technically I worked for Ranger at Rangeman, he was kindly letting me work there part time so I still got to be the world's worst bounty hunter. This way I got time to relax, fewer psychos's to deal with, and Morelli was happy because I was only getting shot at half the time. I flicked through the files but was distracted by the familiar prickling feeling on the back of my neck. Either I had fleas or Ranger had just walked in.

'Babe.' He said as he came and stood next to me. Connie handed him a pile of files which he began looking over while Lula fanned herself behind his back. I shot a look at Connie and Lula while I subtly grabbed the note off the desk where I'd left it and shoved it in my pocket. The thing about Ranger is that he really might be Batman. He's an extremely hot Cuban American and can make my nipples harden with a single touch. We shared an extremely hot night of passion a while ago when me and Morelli were on a break and I've been fighting my doodahs cravings for more ever since. Ranger seems to know this and uses it to his advantage whenever we are in close proximity.

Because Ranger is Batman, he picked up on me slyly shoving the note in my pocket and the corners of his mouth turned up a fraction of an inch. 'What you got there babe?' He asked softly, his full attention on me. 'Piece of rubbish.' I told him matter of factly. 'You know how I hate littering. He took a step towards me and I quickly took one back. I glanced frantically around. 'Lula are you ready? We should really be going.' I said nervously, licking my lips and watching Rangers eyes darken.

I turned around to grab my bag and a donut and in a matter of seconds the note was out of my pocket and in Rangers hand. 'Wow.' I said. 'One day you're really gonna have to teach me how to do that.' Ranger ignored me and read the note. He looked at me eyes narrowing. 'Another one already?' He was referring to the Spiro incident which had happened less then a month ago. I rolled my eyes and turned to leave, there was no way I was in the mood for this. 'Lula?' I said sharply and luckily she got the message, hightailing it to the car. I gave Connie and Ranger a finger wave and headed out the door.

I felt all the air leave my lungs as I was pushed against the building. Ranger reached up and pushed a curl behind my ear. 'Anything you wanna tell me babe?'


	2. Beer bellys and ruined panties

Hey guys I am planning to continue this story although I don't really know where I'm going with it! It will probably be a babe fic though.

It's my 1st ever story so plz give me lots of criticism or whateva cos then I'll know exactly where I'm goin wrong etc. So lots of reviews thanx!

K here you go:

_I felt all the air leave my lungs as I was pushed against the building. Ranger reached up and pushed a curl behind my ear. 'Anything you wanna tell me babe?' _

I blew out a sigh. Yeah there was a lot I wanted to tell Ranger but none of it would be particularly helpful. 'Nope not me, everything's perfect', I rambled, looking at a point somewhere over his left shoulder. Ranger gave me an almost smile, brushed a quick kiss across my lips and was gone. He really needs to teach me how to do that as well.

I walked towards the car park to find Lula sitting in her car with the music blaring. She shot me a look. "Don't even think bout it white girl, I ain't driving round in that blue monstrosity it'd ruin my image.' I sighed again and got in the car. I was still driving the buick and the way my life was going probably would be for the rest of my life. See I have a little problem with blowing up cars. It's really not my fault though. Cars just don't seem to like me, and scary people seem to think its fun to cause my car insurance to skyrocket.

'So who we after today?' Lula asked her mouth full of donut. She had taken the box from the office and there was now one left. Guess she was serious about not having had breakfast. I grabbed the last donut before finally glancing at the files. 'Lets see, we have Gina Faris, age 86, wanted for attempted assault with a deadly weapon. Looks like she tried to stab the mailman, luckily she missed though on account of she wasn't wearing her glasses.' I felt my heart rate speed up and my hands go sweaty. 'Hunh.' Lula said, sounding bored. 'He probably deserved it anyway. Got anything more exciting?' I rolled my eyes, knowing Lula was as scared of Gina as I was.

'Um we have Bryan Samsung, age 19, got into a bar fight and missed his court date. That sounds easy enough and I think I need to warm up before we deal with Gina.' Ok so I was prolonging the inevitable but Gina sounded completely crazy and I'd look like a loser trying to bring in someone that old. Chances are she just forgot her court date and would turn herself in anyway. I rolled my eyes. Yeah right.

Lula started the engine and I closed my eyes, trying to block out the ringing in my ears that Lula's music was causing. I didn't open them until the car stopped and I realised we were outside Pino's. Lula looked at me. 'You're looking all depressed so I'm thinking we needa get you some food before you start crying or something.' We grabbed a sub each and ate it on the way to Bryans.

We stopped outside Bryans and walked up the drive. The house was old and brick but didn't seem to be in bad condition…well not bad compared to the other houses on the street. The front lawn came up to my knees and there was a load of trash strewn all over the garden. I stepped around an old supermarket trolley and some rusty paint cans with Lula close on my heels. 'Jeez would you look at this!' Lula exclaimed loudly. 'Not gonna win any points for housekeeping is he?' I shot Lula a look although I was thinking exactly the same thing. I checked my pockets, making sure my pepper spray, stun gun, cuffs and fake badge were easy to reach. I have a gun but it lives at home in my cookie jar. I think carrying round a gun is just looking for trouble. And yeah I guess guns kinda scare me.

I knocked on the door and heard a dog come running. Actually the dog sounded like it was the size of a small horse so me and Lula both backed up a step. A man with almost no teeth opened the door. He had a beer in his hand and a white wife beater on which allowed us to get a good look at his beer belly. 'Waddaya want?' He said, pushing the massive, snarling dog behind him. I cleared my throat. 'I'm looking for Bryan Samsung, he failed to appear for his court date and I'm a fugitive apprehension agent, so I need to take him downtown and rebook him.' The man (Bryans father I guess) smiled. 'BRYAN!' he yelled, without turning his head and I got a wiff of his breath. It smelled like something had crawled down his throat and died. I felt my lip curl instinctively and fought to keep my expression normal.

Bryan came to the door and I felt my mouth drop open. He was an exact replica of his father. He too had a beer in his hand, a white wife beater on and although he had more teeth and hair, his hair was greasy and his teeth were crooked and yellow. I gave him my explanation of who I was and what I was there for and he just looked at me thoughtfully. Lula cleared her throat and cracked her knuckles menacingly and the two men smirked at each other. Bryan stepped closer to me and I fought ever instinct in my body to step away from the smell. 'And what'll you do for me if I come with you?' He leered and I wrinkled my nose.

'She wont stun gun your ass that's what.' Lula stated and stepped closer to him. I gave Lula a nod and we both tackled the guy. We were rolling around on the deck and Bryan's father was standing there laughing when I caught someone's elbow in the cheek. 'Ow!' I yelled, and wrestled Bryan onto his stomach. Lula sat on him while I cuffed him and we both stood up panting. 'I really needa go running.' I said as we hauled him up. Bryan was spewing insults at us which we ignored. Lula threatened him with the stun gun again and he shut up and sat in the back seat sulking.

'Shit I'm gonna have to get the inside of my car clean after this boys been in it!' Lula grumbled as we hopped in. We both opened our windows and tried not to gag. I looked in Lula's rear vision mirror at my cheek and sighed. My cheek wasn't that bad but It still didn't improve my appearance any. We drove Bryan to the station and I was busy getting him rebooked when I felt someone slide their arm round my shoulder.

I looked up into Joe Morelli's brown eyes and smiled. 'Hey cupcake', he said, cupping my face and wincing when he saw my cheek. 'What happened?' I sighed. 'Had some trouble bringing in a skip.' I said, nodding towards Bryan. Morelli shot Bryan a look that turned him pale and walked me outside. 'You know I'm pretty sure Bob's been missing you pretty bad lately, it might be nice if you stopped by to say hello to him tonight.' He said, curling a finger around the neckline of my tee-shirt and peeking inside. I smiled up at him. 'Well if Bob's really been missing me that much maybe I should bring pizza.' I said and he smiled, while continuing to look under my top.

I felt a tingle on the back of my neck and looked round to see Ranger bringing in a massive man with tattoos all over his face and arms like tree trunks. Ranger looked at me, looked at Morelli's hand, nodded at me and kept walking. I felt my nose wrinkle. Was that the Ranger equivalent of a brush off? I blinked and saw a hand waving in front of my face. Morelli looked annoyed. 'Anyone home cupcake?' I looked up at him. 'Yeah I was just wondering where Lula went.' I said and frowned when I realised that she had left me again. 'She does this every single time and I never learn!'

Morelli smiled and I glared at him. 'You have to admit it's kinda funny.' He said and kissed me lightly when I wouldn't stop glaring. 'Now how am I gonna get back to Vinnies?' I asked him. He shrugged then looked round and spotted Ranger. 'There you go I'm sure Ranger would be happy to take you.' He said with a hint of sarcasm. I narrowed my eyes at him and went to push away from him. He pulled me in for a kiss that warm feelings straight to my doodah and I think he ruined another pair of my panties. Morelli smirked. 'See you tonight cupcake.' And he was off to fight crime.

I caught Ranger as he was coming out of the station. 'Don't suppose your going back to the office?' I asked him sweetly. The corners of his mouth tipped up a fraction of an inch. 'She left you again?' I nodded glumly and he slung an arm around my shoulders and walked me to his car. 'Nice bruise babe, hard skip?' I blew out a sigh. Well me and Lula were wrestling with him on the ground and someone elbowed me in the face but to tell you the truth I think it may have been Lula.' This earned me the full 200 watt smile. 'Babe.'

I got into the car and for some reason was feeling more nervous then usual. Ranger slid a glance my way. 'Anything wrong babe?' I jumped in surprise. 'Wrong? No- why would anything be wrong?' Ranger pulled the car over and looked at me. I sighed. I was in trouble now.


	3. Boots and hormones

Whoops before I start again I would like to say that in no way do i own any of the original stephanie plum characters! They belong to Janet and i'd prefer not to be sued thanx!

Hey guys thanx 4 all ure awesum reviews!

Mel: Thanks for ure review and I'm trying to work out if its stalker/babe or babe/stalker. I'm definitely interested in expanding steph and rangers relationship but don't want to take away from the actual genre if you know wat I mean. This chapter is kinda a plot filler as well. I'm still developing the characters and getting used to writing so be prepared for a lil more boredom before all the action .

SouthernAngel: Thanks a lot and I know exactly what you mean! I'm trying to keep Joe as a good guy because he's never intentionally hurt steph in the past. For their relationship to change I feel it would be down to steph and not due to any fault of Joe. Lol and yeah it probably will be a babe fic

XJerseygirl: Thanks and I'm trying but I've had a lil bit of a mind blank lately but hopefully that will end soon!

Raintree7: Haha i know I love Ranger too. Thanks for ure review. Much appreciated! Let me know how you like the rest of the story.

Right here you go:

_Ranger pulled the car over and looked at me. I sighed. I was in trouble now. _

I fidgeted nervously in my seat and frowned at him. 'What's goin on babe you've been acting even stranger then usual.' I thought for a moment. The truth is, although I'm pretty sure I love Joe, every time I'm near Ranger my damn Hungarian hormones make me want to jump him. And it's not just the sexual tension either although that's hot enough. It's the fact that he's always there for me and never tries to change me and I'll admit, maybe it's a little bit of the mystery associated with him but whatever it is I just can't get enough. And I want to be with Joe, really I do, but it's not fair on him to only be halfway in love with him. So I'd been trying to stay away from Ranger while I figured it all out but it wasn't working. All last night I was comparing the two and it was driving me crazy. I groaned inwardly. I was going to hell for lusting after two different men.

I looked up and realised Ranger was still waiting for me to speak. 'Um I'm just tired and stuff and weirded out by this stalker guy and mostly I think I just really need a donut.' Ranger sighed and started up the engine. 'If you need to talk I'm here Steph.' He said softly, and I bit my lip and tried not to cry.

Luckily we were pulling into the parking lot at Vinnies. I went to jump out of the car but Rangers grip on my wrist stopped me. I turned and looked at him questioningly. He studied my face for a moment, looking thoughtful, then turned his attention to my lips and the corners of his mouth tipped up. The next thing I knew I was being devoured. The kiss started off light and slow and I bit lightly at his bottom lip, wanting more. Ranger groaned and deepened the kiss, his tongue slowly entered my mouth and he stroked my tongue with his. His hands slid under my top and I moaned. This seemed to break Ranger out of his sexy superman zone and he pulled away, looking a bit bemused. I blushed and quickly hopped out of the car.

'Jeez what the hell is wrong with me?' I thought. I hadn't been this bad since I had gone off donuts awhile ago when I had first started working at Rangeman. I walked into the office and collected my check for Bryan. 'Hmmm' I smiled to myself. 'Shopping or rent?' I figured since I was planning to bring in old Gina Faris tomorrow I'd get enough money from her to pay my rent. I thought it over some more and did the responsible thing. I grabbed Lula and 10 minutes later we were on the way to the mall.

'Damn girl look at these!' We were in Macys and Lula was holding up a pair of black knee-high boots with a stiletto thin heel. 'These shoes are the shit! In fact I think these are batman seducing shoes!' I rolled my eyes although I had to admit the shoes were the shit. I mumbled something to Lula about not wanting batman and reached for my size. 20 minutes later we were walking out the mall and I had my new boots, a cute little black dress and had visited Victoria's Secret. Lula had a few new thongs, a spandex skirt two sizes too small and a giant pretzel. I also had a pretzel.

Lula sighed happily. 'You know what? I think shopping is better then sex. At least if your not satisfied you can exchange it for something you really like.' I kinda had to agree there. While Joe left me with no complaints in the bedroom department, only a girl could understand the importance of shopping. Lula dropped me back at the office and looked at me questioningly when I went to hop into my car. 'I'm tired so we'll tackle Faris tomorrow mmkay?' I said and she grinned. 'Sure white-girl I'll make sure I'll bring my gun.' I rolled my eyes. 'There will be no shooting!'

Once home I walked up the stairs to my apartment. This was because I needed exercise. Also, the lift was broken but I'm pretty sure I would have taken the stairs anyway. I considered going for a run but quickly decided against it. It looked like it was going to rain, I decided, and I wouldn't want to get a cold now would I? Ranger had been constantly trying to get me into exercising. I'm not into exercising. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Me and Morelli occasionally live together but that hasn't worked all that well for us in the past and the truth is I kinda need my space. That doesn't mean I don't sleep at his house a few nights a week and vice-versa but we break up so often that I wouldn't want to be getting rid of my apartment any time soon. Also I like having my independence and my own bathroom.

I fixed myself a peanut butter and olive sandwich and a beer and sat down in front of the T.V. After finishing my nutritious meal I climbed into bed. I glanced at the clock. Six thirty pm. Good grief.

_Ok guys I kinda know where I'm going now so hang in there. The next chapter will be better I promise! _


	4. Baseball bats and pantyhose

Hey guys! Sorry I took so long to update but you wouldn't believe how busy I am! Between training, work and school I just havn't had much time. Thanks a lot for all your reviews they're all really helpful so plz continue!

Thanks especially to:

Southernangel113: lol I thought ppl would like that quote! Thanx for your review!

Mel: Thanks for your input I kinda know where I'm goin now which is good. Let me know what you think of this.

Right here goes:

_After finishing my nutritious meal I climbed into bed. I glanced at the clock. Six thirty pm. Good grief._

I woke up suddenly, my heart racing. I squinted at the alarm clock and pulled the blankets around me tighter when I realised it was only 1.30. Then I heard it. The slight thud as someone closed my apartment door. I was not alone. Omigod I had a scary person in my apartment and my gun was in my cookie jar. I threw the covers back and reached under the bed for the baseball bat that Joe had made me keep there after he realised the nearest thing to a weapon in my bedroom is a stiletto.

'Calm down.' I thought to myself, my heart racing. 'Probably its only Ranger.' I knew it wasn't Ranger though. I can sense his presence and he's always a lot quieter then whoever this was. I slid out of bed and crept over to my door. Luckily I had left the door open an inch so I peeked out it. Holy shit this guy was huge. Ok so he was about Tanks size but the difference was that this guy might want to kill me. He had thick blonde hair that fell around his face and was in desperate need of a shave. I didn't see a gun in his hand but I started trembling when I realised he was walking towards my bedroom.

I stepped behind the door and raised my bat. As he pushed open the door I stepped out from behind it. I caught a fleeting look of surprise in his eyes before I screamed and swung the bat. 'THWAK'. He was out like a light. I felt for a pulse and let out a breath of relief when I realised he was still alive. I hoped he wasn't going to wake up any time soon.

I was shaking and breathing hard as I stepped over him and ran into the kitchen. I picked up my phone and dialled Ranger.

'Yo.' He sounded sleepy.

'R-Ranger its me, s-some guy broke into my apartment and I whacked him with a bat and now he's unconscious what should I do?'

'Stay away from him and if it looks like he's waking up call the police. I'm on my way.' I heard the dial tone and rolled my eyes. One of these days I was going to make him say goodbye.

I walked into my bedroom and decided that scary guy needed to be cuffed. I looked in my bag. Nope no cuffs. Luckily I found some pantyhose in my underwear drawer. I used five pairs and managed to tie his hands and feet together in case he started waking up. I surveyed my work. Hunh they were actually a pretty strong substitute for handcuffs. Who woulda thought pantyhose had an actual use? I walked back into the living room and waited anxiously on the couch for Ranger. My door was open and I was keeping an eye on the scary guy who so far hadn't moved. I heard the door rattle and I picked up my bat. Relieved when I realised it was only Ranger.

He walked in and took a long look at me. I gave him a weak smile and pointed at the guy in my bedroom. We both walked over and the corners of his mouth tipped up when he looked at the pantyhose. 'Thought I told you to stay away from him.' It was a statement not a question. Ranger knew I'd do what I wanted anyway. I shrugged. 'Wouldn't want him to get up and kill me now would we?'

The guy started coming round and Ranger grabbed me by the shoulders and moved me back a few steps before stepping in front of me. 'Let me handle this babe.' I sighed. Probably a good thing. Last time me and Lula and Connie had tried to extract information out of someone it turned out none of us could hit him.

Ranger pulled out his gun and waited patiently for him to wake up. Eventually he opened his eyes. 'I'm going to ask you some questions.' He said in a low, cold voice that I had never heard him use before. 'And you are going to answer or I will shoot you. Do you understand?' I saw a flash of fear in the intruders eyes and he nodded frantically. 'What is your name?' The intruder looked terrified and I felt a brief stab of sympathy for him. Then I thought about how terrified I had been when I woke up and all I felt was anger. 'S-Steve.' The guy choked out and Ranger nodded slowly.

'What are you doing in this apartment Steve?' Ranger asked and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Questioning this guy was going to take forever at this rate. His name seemed kind of familiar and I thought for a moment. Then I smiled as it hit me. 'Steve Conner.' I told Ranger. 'Tommy Conner's little brother.' Steve looked me up and down and I realised I was only wearing short shorts and a tank top. It had been a warm night and I'd forgotten to change before Ranger arrived. I glared at him, silently daring him to comment while Ranger was pointing a gun at him. Ranger cleared his throat and shot me an amused look while he asked his question again.

'I came to warn the bitch.' Steve said. 'Although god knows why when I get this kind of treatment.' 'Warn me about what?' I asked and ignored Ranger's irritated look.

'Tommy boys got it in for you real bad. Turns out you put our uncle and a few of his friends away and he's been wanting to tag you for some time. The final straw was when you snatched Katie. She's like a slave to him-does whatever he wants and my guess is he was feeling slightly resentful of the fact that he gotta get off his ass and clean up after himself now.'

I frowned. Why the hell would his brother want to warn me? I opened my mouth to ask but Ranger beat me to it. Steve laughed. 'Don't you know about our little family feud? Tommy was always jealous about the relationship I had with our dad. Daddy erased Tommy from his will and Tommy had dads lawyer on his payroll. As soon as he found out he killed him in cold blood.' My eyes widened. Wow this guy had a way more screwed up family then me. Talk about putting things in perspective. I forced myself to concentrate as Steve had begun talking again. 'Tommy didn't do any time though.' He snorted. 'Insufficient evidence. So we stay away from each other. He knows I want him gone and it's mutual. Difference is, I don't think I'd be able to kill him. He's waiting till Mum dies before making his move though. I figure I tell you all I know and you take him down. That way he's no threat to me and if he makes too much fuss I'm sure Rambo here knows a nice way of disposing of bad people.'

I smirked at that and Ranger looked like he was thinking about rolling his eyes. He raised an eyebrow at me and I realised I had spoken out loud. Whoops. Steve chose then to pull restlessly at the pantyhose. 'I hate to interrupt your eye-fucking but I have the headache from hell thanks to bambi here and these umm…pantyhose are a bit tight.' I narrowed my eyes at the bambi stab and opened my mouth to tell him where to go. Ranger chose that moment to place a soothing hand on my back and steered me towards the living room.

'You wait here and I'll untie him and make sure he hasn't bled too badly on the carpet.' I hesitated. I knew Ranger was going to question him some more and I didn't want to miss out on the excitement. He placed a soft kiss on my lips and I sighed and sat down. Typical-the slightest touch and I gave in. I told myself I was tired and wanted a rest anyway but I knew it wasn't true. Damn Hormones.


	5. Don't tell me what to do

**Hey guys sorry its bin so long! I've been really busy with school and stuff and having trouble thinking creatively. Thanks to everyone who reviewed you give me a reason to update!**

**Don't forget to leave a nice lil review k guys? Its good to get some feedback. Let me know what you're all thinking. **

_Typical-the slightest touch and I gave in. I told myself I was tired and wanted a rest anyway but I knew it wasn't true. Damn Hormones. _

'Babe.' I frowned tried to figure where the sound was coming from. 'Babe, wake up.' The voice sounded amused and I opened my eyes and looked straight at Rangers face, about an inch from mine. I jumped up onto my feet, swaying slightly when the blood rushed from my head. 'What happened with Steve? What did you ask him? Any leads? Damn I can't believe I fell asleep!' How annoying- I always miss the good stuff.

Ranger chuckled. Actually chuckled! I looked round my apartment and discovered that Steve was long gone and any mess him and I had made was cleaned up. Ok so I could forgive Ranger for chuckling.

I looked up at Ranger questioningly and he produced a piece of paper. 'What's this?' I asked scanning the list quickly. 'A list of all his friends, family and acquaintances houses.' I was impressed. Batman had skills I'd never acquire. 'How'd you convince him to do this?' I asked. 'He was actually very keen to rat on his brother.' Hmmm that made sense. By telling us all he knew, Steve had a better chance of getting rid of Tommy before his mother died and Tommy got rid of him. 'Hunh.' I said, processing this and wondering how many houses I could search tomorrow.

Ranger noticed this and directed me with his body until I was sitting on the couch again. 'You're not doing this alone.' He told me. I frowned and opened my mouth to tell him where to go. 'Don't argue Stephanie I'm putting a man on you. Try not to break him.' I was furious. 'Look Ranger I accept that you're tougher then me but try not to baby me too much. I can sort out my own problems.' My voice had risen and I was nearly shrieking.

Rangers eyes darkened and his blank look slid over what had previously been exasperation. 'Its happening so let it go.' He told me and stood to leave. 'Let it go.' I repeated. And stood as well, hands on hips. He pulled me towards him and kissed me, long and deep. It was so unexpected that I didn't have time to feel guilty over Joe. I was breathless when we pulled apart and my anger had pretty much disappeared. Ranger knew this and looked down at my breasts. I blushed furiously, knowing that my nipples were standing to attention like the good little soldiers they were. He looked back up at my face and raised an eyebrow. 'Anything else to say?' I gritted my teeth. 'Arrogant asshole.' I muttered. This earned me a 200 watt smile and a quick peck on the lips. 'Lock your door.' Ranger said and left.

I locked my door, checked all the windows and went back to bed, hoping no one else would break in.

I woke the next morning to the shrill ringing of my cellphone. I let out a string of swear words. I had been having a rather nice dream involving a naked Joe and then a naked Ranger. Stumbling out of bed, I searched my room for the source of the noise, finally locating the phone underneath a pile of clothes in the corner.

'Hello?' I said, hopping back under the covers and looking at the alarm clock. 7.10 am. What the hell time do people call this? It was Lula.

'Hey gurl that asshole trashed my car.' My heart leaped into my throat. 'WHAT?' 'You know, that Tommy asshole. The lil bastard hurt my baby, now we gotta teach him not to mess with Lula's car.' Oh my god. I sucked in a breath. 'I'm so sorry Lula I'll pay for whatever damage there is.' Lula snorted.

'Don't worry about that just get your white ass down to the office so we can formulate me a revenge plan.' I sighed. I couldn't believe he was going after my friends as well. Lula had been through enough in her life and she didn't need my stalkers after her as well. 'I'll be there in half an hour.' I said to Lula. 'Wait do you need a ride?' I could hear her smiling down the phone. 'Na its ok I phoned that sexy Tank fella and he's gonna be here soon. Laters.' She hung up and I mentally slapped my forehead. How did she even get Tanks number?

I got back out of bed, looking longingly at my warm and comfy cocoon before I dragged myself into the shower. I had the fasted shower ever and didn't bother washing my hair. After a half-assed attempt at make-up, I shoved my rangers hat on my head to hide the damage and grabbed my keys. No time for breakfast but I figured I'd get Maccas later. Jumping into the car I took off towards the bonds office.

My cellphone rang again and I picked it up, looking at the caller ID. Joe. 'Steph what's this I hear about some guy breaking into your apartment last night?' I mentally swore. I hadn't counted on him finding out this fast. Whenever I get myself into trouble Joe and I have a big argument that leads lots of yelling from him and immature hand gestures from me.

'Uh sorry Joe I was just about to ring you. It wasn't a big deal really. Tommys brother just wanted to rat on him to help me catch him.' There was a moment of silence while he processed this. 'Why didn't you call me cupcake?' This was said quietly and in a sad tone. 'Well I knew you'd get all overprotective and I thought you had work so I gave Ranger a ring…' I trailed off, biting my lip anxiously. I knew Morelli would be pissed that I gave Ranger the chance to play hero again. There was a much longer pause and I looked at my watch before pulling into the office car park. 'You still there Joe?' He sighed. 'Yeah I'm still here. Pizza at my house tonight Steph? Please.' I smiled. He was letting it go. Good.

'Ok but I'll get back to you about that mmkay?' 'Sure cupcake have a good day.' He hung up. Hmmm that was weird.

**K I know that wasn't the best chapter but it was kinda a filler chapter if you know what I mean. Leave a review plz! Criticism always welcome cos I know you're all thinking it! Tata xx**


	6. Immature antics

**Hey guys thanx for all the gr8 reviews it means a lot 2 me that ure taking the time to tell me what you think! Sorry I haven't updated in so long-I was really busy with school exams etc but all that's done now. Please let me know what you think. You guys keep me going so here goes:**

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I drove to the office and after parking, once again used the back entrance. While there was yet again another person wanting to kill me I wasn't going to make it easy for them. I walked in to find Lula pacing and yelling angrily about stupid white boys who were going to pay. Connie was sitting bleary eyed at her desk-I guess Lula had convinced her to come in and help us formulate a plan.

'You took your time white girl.' Lula said as I entered. 'I can see that wasn't spent on grooming though' she snickered as she took in my appearance. I narrowed my eyes.

'Are we going to do this or what?'

Lula shrugged. 'I wana know what kinda car he's drivin and I wanna show him what happens to people who mess with my baby.'

I was standing by the window and happened to look outside when I saw a black rangeman vehicle pull up. I squinted and managed to see Lester sitting in the driver's seat. He gave me a friendly wave and I considered flipping him the bird but decided it wasn't his fault his boss was an overbearing ass and gave him a finger wave.

'I checked on his files and it says that he drives a Toyota something.' I handed the file to Lula to see if she'd recognize the car make. I'm hopeless with cars. I don't know what kind any of them are and I suppose that's a good thing-it's helpful if I don't get too attached to my cars.

Lula snorted. 'Not bad, not bad. It ain't gonna look nice and shiny when we're done with it though.'

I made sure I had cuffs, stun-gun and spray with me before we left the building. Lula had rented a tiny little black car that would look much less conspicuous then big blue so we hopped in that and took off. On the way I rang Ranger.

'I don't suppose you'd like to ask Lester to go away for a bit would you?'

Ranger sighed and hung up. Furious, I rung back instantly and he picked up after the first ring. 'I'm serious me and Lula have girl stuff to do and we don't need a shadow!'

'Babe.' He said and hung up again. Fine. If that's the way he wanted to play then his merry men could see just how immature I could be.

'We needa lose Lester.' I told Lula. 'If Ranger finds out I'm going looking for trouble he'll lock me up and if Morelli finds out he'll hit the roof.' I paused to ponder the fact that I had two different men's reactions to worry about. 'Hmm' Lula said distractedly but I could see her mind ticking. 'Then we needa change cars. Know any we could use?'

'Ummm… How about Mary Lou's?' It's completely inconspicuous.'

Lula grunted. 'Normally I wouldn't dream of driving round in a soccer mums minivan but I spose since it's for a good cause I can do it.'

I snorted. Yeah a real good cause. We headed to Mary Lou's and on the way I rang her to explain our plan. I hung up and told Lula what was going to happen.

She smiled slowly and I winced, she was probably thinking about dismembering Tommy and although I couldn't blame her I didn't want to be on the receiving end of that smile any time soon.

We pulled up at Mary Lou's and I noted exactly where Lester was parked. After having coffee and donuts, Mary Lou put on her sexiest top and did her hair. Walking into the lounge she did a twirl and blew us a kiss at the end of it. 'I can't believe I get to flirt with one of the merrymen! Which one is it again Steph?' I laughed and told her it was Lester. 'Now remember, you need to hit the button for the garage door in front of him so he doesn't think it's us.'

Mary Lou smiled. 'Don't worry I got it all sorted out. She led us to the entrance to the garage door-thankfully there was a door inside the house. Handing us the keys she gave me a hug and told me to be careful. 'You too Lula.' She said with a wink.

We hopped in the car and waited for Mary Lou to do her thing. 'Jeez' Lula said 'I think this is the most excitement she's had all year. You should let her live your life for a day girl!'

I sighed. 'Well that's what happens when you have kids I guess. Do you have everything we need?' Lula nodded and opened her huge handbag. Nestled amongst her gun, lipgloss, stungun and cuffs, was spraypaint, a small bag of eggs, a small box of milk, paintballs, toiletpaper, and a pocketknife.

I felt a shiver run down by spine and I knew we were going to be in a lot of trouble for this. Criminals want retaliation-if you don't give them any attention they give up sooner or later. But I knew Lula deserved revenge as well.

I started the car, hoping like mad that Mary Lou had Lester distracted enough that he wouldn't hear it. Seconds later the garage door opened and I floored it, barely missing Mary Lou who was standing at the end of the driveway. Lula howled with laughter 'Damn you shoulda seen the look on that boys face!' I drove fast, checking in my rear vision mirror for any sign of Lester. I made a few turns just in case and then we drove to Tommys house.

Pulling up a few blocks away, we walked slowly towards his house. His house wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The grass was a bit on the long side but I guessed Katie had taken care of that when she lived there.

Tommys car was in the driveway and I was shocked at the condition of it. It was black and shiny and probably cost more then my rent for a year. What was it with deadbeats being able to afford better cars then the people who hunted them down?

We crept up the driveway although we stood out with Lula in a bright pink boob tube and matching shorts, and hid behind his car. Crouching down we took a moment to make sure no one was around. The plan was to ruin that side of the car before doing the bonnet and getting the hell out of there because he was obviously still at home. If we were smart we would have done this at night but I guessed Lula wanted to strike while she was still enraged.

We splattered eggs everywhere we could reach before Lula pointed out that he had left his front door unlocked. We pulled it open and began chucking eggs inside, and Lula splashed milk all over his steering wheel. I wrinkled my nose-in this heat it was going to get very smelly very quickly. She carved her name in his leather seats with her pocket knife and then I quietly closed the door while Lula began to crush paintballs all over his windows. She then sprayed paint all over his door and wrote him a message on his hood in blue paint. The message definitely didn't say 'Have a nice day.'

Lula raised her gun towards the windscreen and I panicked. Grabbing her arm I yelled 'No!' as she smashed the glass. The noise was awful and I knew Tommy would be out any second.

We were hightailing it down the street when the sound of shooting caused us to duck for cover. Tommy had obviously been drawn outside by the sound of breaking glass. A bullet whizzed by an inch from my head and I did the proper thing and squealed. Lula was lagging behind and I spotted Tommy running behind us and shooting. We rounded a corner just as Lester drove by looking shocked, with someone in the passenger seat. Skidding to a stop he opened his door and using it for cover, shot off a couple of rounds in Tommy's direction. Tommy turned and bolted for his house.

Lester stalked over and grabbed my arm. 'You are dead Steph. The only reason I didn't let that nutcase kill you is because Ranger would rather have the honours.' I winced as he dragged me towards the car, ignoring Lula. I tried to pry his fingers loose but that only earned me a dark look. Throwing the keys to Lula I asked her to take the car back to Mary Lou. She bit her lip and actually managed to look a little contrite. 'Sure thing white girl.' She said as she walked towards us. 'Wait a second u hot piece of ass.' Lester sighed and spun around, causing me to nearly lose my balance. 'You just tell your boss that it was my idea and Steph only helped me because she is a loyal friend ok?' I smiled. 'Thanks Lula.'

Lester grunted and opening the back door of the car, threw me inside. I buckled up and bit my lip as I looked out the window. Lester broke the silence and gestured towards the man sitting next to him. 'Luke Turner this is Stephanie Plum.' He looked at me in his rear vision mirror. 'Luke has just transferred from our New York branch.' I smiled and leaning forward, shook the guys' hand. 'Nice to meet you.' I said. 'Likewise.' He grinned. 'About time I met the infamous Stephanie Plum.' I blushed. Great-even people in New York have heard about my disasters. I looked him over.

He was, as Lula would say, a hot piece of ass. He had sandy blonde hair that fell forward into one eye and was very tanned for someone who had lived in New York. His eyes were a deep green and he had a very very sexy mouth. I realised I had been checking him out and snapped out of it in time to realise he had been doing the same.

In the drivers seat, Lester was shaking his head.

I panicked for a second at the thought that we were going to the Rangeman bulding. 'Lester where are we going? I have work to do.' Lester laughed. 'Don't worry bombshell I won't lock you in the cage with the tiger. Rangers busy in a meeting so you'll probably hear from him later.'

I resumed chewing on my lip. 'You know Lester I really don't think there's any need to tell Ranger about this. I mean who's he to know that you didn't stay with me all day? I mean won't you get in a lot of trouble if he finds out I managed to leave you at Mary Lou's?'

Luke chuckled and Lester shot him a look. 'Ranger knows what happened bombshell. I rung him the second you left in the mum-van.'

I sighed. Ah well what could he do? I told him I didn't need to be followed around by a merry man and he didn't listen so really I haven't done anything wrong. I was leaving out the fact that Lester had saved me from gaining a bullet in my back. Damn.

Lester pulled up at the bonds office and I opened my door. 'Umm thanks Lester.' I said and looked up to see his eyes twinkling. 'Well the memory of you running like a scared cat makes up for getting in trouble with the boss.' Great. Yet another memory in which Steph is screwing up. I looked up to see Luke giving me a funny look. He seemed to shake himself out of it though and flashed me a grin. 'Nice meeting you Steph.' He said and I smiled back. 'You too.' I hopped out of the car and headed towards the bonds office.

Lula was already there and she had grabbed my files out of Mary Lou's car. 'I'm thinking we should go after Gina next. After all I have a shoe habit to support.' I told her. Lula gave me a sad look. 'Well about that… you see the old lady kinda died.'

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**That's all folks! Please leave a review-they motivate me to write. **


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone!

I'm so sorry that I havn't updated in so long. I moved away for a year to study and had no internet connection where I was living, only at school where I was constantly busy!

So anyway I'm back, and planning another update soon, although I realise I've lost all the people who were reading this story! So if there's anyone who is still interested, I'm going to work on another chapter now.

Thanks!


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